Monday, 12 October 2015

Planning Priorities

Okay so a little bit of a vent here..  sometimes (okay MOST of the time) being infertile really frickin sucks. Not only is the stress and pain awful, but we also have to schedule schedule schedule. First we're scheduling sex. Then we're scheduling appointments. Then finally we schedule the actual cycles. Then schedule all the needles and bloodwork and follow ups ... it goes on and on... Our lives start feeling like they're not our own anymore.

Case in point. A good friend of mine is getting married in the New Year. Great! Exciting! So since I'm a photographer she is all but begging me to shoot her wedding. Would love to do that, BUT... and here's the BUT. I don't know if I can!?

So we're meeting with our fertility clinic next Friday (t-minus 10ish days) which I'm freaking excited for ... side tangent- my hubby and I laugh about how far we've come from that first fertility appointment. We're so comfortable with our infertility now that we walk into the clinics like no biggie, we're joking and laughing and going about our business like it's no big deal. This is not meant to be diminishing for anyone who finds them stressful- trust me, we've been there! But rather showing that for us it's become so much easier and commonplace. That first time we walked in I remember being on the constant verge of tears, and avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone else in the room, dreading seeing a familiar face. Now I see those poor individuals and am grateful for how much strength I've been able to find. That's my gratitude for the day.

Anyways, so what's frustrating though is having to 1) wait for this appointment and now 2) have to wait to chat at the appointment to find out cycling dates to then decide if my friends wedding is even something I can attend, let along photograph! Fingers crossed I'd be pregnant by then, but if first round is unsuccessful, then 3) when would we do the second round? It puts all plans up in the air. A normal couple can just do the deed anywhere they go. Us? We have to be bound to needle schedules and ultrasound and bloodwork appointments. It just feels really unfair sometimes.

Okay rant done. 

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