Days 9 (7 stimms)

DAY 9 - day 7 stimms
Just another day in stimming paradise... or hell... whatever way you personally feel about it. For me, I'm trying to feel as much gratitude for being in a position to be able to be as proactive as we are. I'm grateful for 21 follicles growing. I'm grateful for the financial ability to do a cycle. I'm grateful for being unemployed and being able to focus fully on fertility. It helps a little to think of all the things I'm thankful for as my belly becomes increasingly bruised and my ovaries more and more bloated/painful.

Today was Homme InFertile's Birthday. 31! Wasn't anything overly special, but he had been wanting to check out this place Katz in NY (a staple) so we did lunch there, and while he went bowling with my friend visiting, and his friend who's also unemployed until they start their new jobs, I went to acupuncture. She seemed impressed at how well I've been doing/feeling, so that made me feel even better about everything... if that was possible.

I called to schedule my appointments for the next day (bw/us and intralipids) and got a lecture on how I was supposed to book intralipids weeks ago. I don't want to go into the nitty gritty of the conversation, as I'm trying to let it go, but basically instead of simply telling me unfortunately at this point there wasn't an appointment time left for Wednesday, but I could go Thursday instead (which I would have been totally chill and fine with... my bad for not calling earlier), I instead was told that I wasn't being responsible for not calling weeks in advance, and that's generally when people book these, and there are no appointments for today. So naturally I freaked out thinking I wouldn't be able to get an intralipid appointment time for 2 weeks, and thus started to cry. See I believe the intralipids are what could make or break this cycle so my mind started racing a million miles a minute. I just wish she would have handled the conversation a little nicer and preceded the lecture with "I can fit you in tomorrow" at bare minimum. No one told me the precedent on timing to book intralipids, and all other appointments I have been making a day or two in advance. Without this knowledge, how was I supposed to know any different, especially after checking on Monday that they received my intralipid medication, and that all was good for Wednesday... which clearly it was not. Grrr. Very different "service" level in the U.S. from Canada. They try and make it as stress-free as possible, where as in the states, its all on you the patient at an already overwhelming stressful time. Kind of silly, but cultural differences I suppose.

Shake it off.

Later we went out to a nice dinner followed by Les Miserables on Broadway which was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! So great!

I had to push my evening injections to 10:15pm (I normally do at 9pm) as I wasn't sure how I'd go about timing it, doing it in the bathroom at the theatre, not to mention bringing the injections and keeping them cold (the gonal-f needs to stay in the fridge). It was all too stressful, so I just did it a little later. RE said it was fine if they weren't exactly at the same time, although that is ideal. FX all is well. I'm sure I'm not the first patient to do an injection an hour off schedule one day.

Anyhoo. Shots were less painful than the previous day which was nice. I'm a pro now it seems, although I still friggin hate my ganirelix injection which I'm delaying taking as I write this. Boo.

Days 7-8 (days 5-6 stimms)

Wow have things progressed. Getting real ya'll...

DAY 7 - day 5 stimms a.m. & p.m.
So yesterday I continued with my a.m. ganirelix and p.m. gonal-f and menopur shots. My stomach has little prick marks along with mini bruises where I clearly did a less than stellar job injecting myself. Oh well. I'll be a pin cushion if it means I have a baby!!!

Yesterday was Easter, so we started our morning off with Easter Brunch at Lafayette in New York. Delicious little brunch with some friends and then we headed over to the bonnet festival which is a street filled with crazy New Yorkers in crazy hats. So random, but quite a spectacle. We then tried to get lottery tix to a broadway show, but after no such luck, walked across the Brooklyn Bridge instead. So needless to say, it was a busy day and I was just beyond pooped. We had a chill night and went to bed reasonably early.

DAY 8 - day 6 stimms a.m. & p.m.
Maybe it was me pushing myself to hard, maybe it was the meds, maybe my IBS, or maybe even something I ate, but I tossed and turned with a stomach ache all night, and woke up with diarrhea around 6am. Annoying since I had been incredibly constipated for days. I guess the relief was welcomed, but the stomach cramping not so much. Sorry for the TMI but I don't believe in such a thing on this journey ;)

So my day started off a bit rough since I wasn't feeling great but we had to go to my check up appointment at the RE. I was super duper nervous, having been a poor responder in the past. I trusted my doc lowering my meds, but at the same time was just really hoping it worked out well. My friend came in to the room with me for sheer curiosity more than anything. Was quite the learning experience for her.

Well the doc covering for Dr. T was fine and dandy, but not overly personable. I like someone I can joke with and they all take it a bit too seriously for my taste. Fair enough, as they need to be sensitive to all infertile types. I support that... but still, when I crack a joke, at least crack a smile ;)

Anyways, had 21 follicles. Yes!!! 21!!! I was thrilled!!! Our first IVF was only 11 so we almost doubled our amount and I couldn't be happier. Many of them are still quite small, so I'm not sure how many will mature to size, but I still feel confident we'll get a good yield and may be able to go for a day 5 transfer. Fingers crossed.

I felt completely drained today and tried to be a trooper but had to take a mid-day nap to recuperate. My ovaries are just so sore. I feel like I need to invent shock absorbing shoes for women going through IVF. I swear with each step I could feel them slosh around in my ovaries. Ouch. I'm okay with it if it means I have 21 great eggies in there. Feeling positive vibes today. :) :) :)

Days 3-6 (1-4 of stimms)

DAY 3 - day 1 stimms (p.m. only)
So I've clearly not been keeping up my blogging duties, but I've definitely been busy busy with all the injections and pill taking.

So first night of stimms I was so so nervous. Like, had no clue I would feel that way given I had done it before. I wasn't nervous to actually give myself the needles so much as just mess it up somehow. My hubby took some video of me doing it all which I might try and cut down and post below at some point if I get a chance, but forgive me if it never happens as I'm a little distractible at the moment and the full video is like 20 minutes long since I was such a nervous wreck.... No one wants to watch 20 minutes of me pouting haha.

:) possible video placeholder :)

I got it all done in the end and went to bed feeling pretty proud of myself. Plus... we had officially begun our cycle of IVF stimms and I was looking forward to moving forward. Yay.

DAY4 - day 2 stimms (p.m. only)

I woke up day 4 (day 2 of stimms) feeling pretty a.o.k. I didn't sleep great, a bit of tossing and turning as the meds started coursing through the ole body. I went about my day quite normally. Then Homme InFertile got the call. HE GOT A JOB!!! So if you've been following my blog you might know that we are Canadians who moved down to New York for his job. Well, oil and gas markets essentially crashed and the company layed off his whole team (and many others). Since he was sponsored to work, and that job no longer existed, we were in fear of being deported. All this as we had started IVF. Ridiculous amount of stress. All of that was lifted with one phone call. Phew. That being said, we're Houston, TX bound next. His whole team got picked up so we'll be moving with people we know which is nice... and best of all is that we get another 6 months in New York while they ramp up coverage. That means I get time to finish IVF (and a frozen if needed) before leaving, as well as take time to say goodbye to this great city and do all the things off my NY bucket list before we go! So great! 

So we were off to the boss' to celebrate... just one hitch. I had to do my shots. Luckily everyone knows our situation so I just brought them along for the champagne toast and shot myself up in their living room. Infertility accommodates no one ;) 

I feel it necessary to include a little commentary here on that whole situation though in case you find yourself in a similar circumstance. Now know, although my husband works with these guys, 1 of them knows me better than the other, and neither of them are overly familiar with me yet, so comfort levels aren't incredibly high. One guys wife, although very sweet, I also don't know all that well... so this wasn't exactly a group of close friends if you get what I'm saying...

So what I found interesting was their curiosity and wanting to look/stare, but their blatant efforts to not! I tried to crack a few jokes to make everyone more comfortable, and they gave me a few kind chuckles to break the awkwardness, but you could definitely sense they didn't know how to act. Totally fair. Now I could have gone off to the bathroom and done it in privacy sure. But I'm pretty stubborn and believe I shouldn't have to hide my life. I don't do it in the bathroom at home. I do it in the comfort of my living room, perched on the couch (or in my bed for the morning shot this morning that I'm writing). Not only that, but I WANT them to see what it's all about. I WANT people to understand what an infertile or person going through IVF goes through, because for the most part, it happens behind closed doors, and under hushed voices. Me? Infertile here loud and proud. I refuse to let someones discomfort with it be the reason I don't educate and break down the stigmas. So there you have it. Everyone in that room now knows exactly what IVF injections look like, and what the woman has to go through with organizing, timing, mixing (lupron/menopur I'm looking at you!) and actually self-injecting. 

DAY5 - day 3 stimms (p.m. only) 

Today my friend arrived from out of town. I went for acupuncture beforehand, and the hubs and I went for a game of pool with one of his other unemployed but soon to be re-employed colleagues. I was still feeling pretty good, although a little more bloated and uncomfortable again today. Acupuncture seemed to have helped a bit there... I listened to circle and blooms IVF program while I had it done. Ahhhhh. 

When my friend got in we were able to go grab a quick bite before having to head home for my nightly shot. Once again, I know she felt discomfort. This is a friend I know very very well, and have been friends with for years, but we haven't lived in the same city since we were 18 (we're 31) and although we know each other very well, the comfort level may not be the same as it would be if we were around each other more often. Once she realized we could joke through it, and it didn't have to be a big serious thing, she loosened up, but it was interesting for me to see the same sort of behaviours and reactiosn as the previous night with Homme InFertile's work colleagues, as I did with a close friend. Huh. 

DAY6 - day 4 stimms (a.m. & p.m.)

Woke up this a.m. knowing I had to add Ganirelix to my regimen. Wasn't so worried about it. No biggie. No mixing... no adding/changing needle heads. It's prepared for me and ready to rock and roll. WELL...... little did I recall this is the little guy that stings like a ... well stings bad lets just put it that way! I forgot the little trick that my last clinic/nurse taught me of pre and post icing. I just went in without a care in the world. Ouch!!! My stomach was quite red and a large circumference stung. I grabbed ice and remembered it was my friend, making a mental note for all mornings to come.

We spent the day out and about. Homme InFertile had to go meet with new boss for lunch, and a few other things came up for him, so it was just my friend and I out playing tourist. I got to do some things in NY I had really wanted to do for some time (aka boating on the lake in Central Park, and taking the boat cruise around the Statue of Liberty). We came home, had some down time, played a board game and I took my evening shots before heading out again. 

Well... evening shots have taken a turn. A dark, dark turn. Eep. I dunno if it's because of the added morning shot or what, but my evening shots SUCKED. Not only was my stomach all of a sudden way more sensitive, but about 10 minutes after taking them I looked 4 months pregnant. I'm a pretty skinny minny, so I understand this doesn't look like much, but I'm generally completely flat. The bloating was sooooo painful. Felt like my insides might pop like a balloon if I sticked myself with another needle. 

But the show must go on so we went out for dinner where I stuffed myself further and felt even more bloated, and then showed my friend Time Square before heading home and me collapsing in bed in pain. Hosting during IVF apparently is a no go ;) I should have known, but at the same time, the distraction is kind of nice.