New Site! Find me there!

So I'm finally making the changeover to a new site. Yay! I've loved this site, it gave me an outlet, a voice when I felt I had none, but the time has come to move away from the "Femme InFertile" name and embrace positivity. I AM fertile, I am more than my infertility, and I refuse to continue to let it define me. So in honour of our upcoming FET I really want to do away with any negative connotations and a fresh start with a new name felt like a perfect opportunity.

If you've been reading my blog you'll know I have a YouTube Channel, so this is really just linking it all together. I hope you'll continue to follow along with our journey over there! Thanks so much for joining us thus far!

https://liv4todaysite.wordpress.com/

YouTube Vlog

Hey guys, so as some of you know, I've been vlogging on my YouTube Channel so others can follow along with the journey. I still plan to write here now and then, but in terms of updates and what is happening on day to day, that's the best place to find me. It became a bit too much to do it all super consistently, but I do what I can. You can also find me on Instagram @liv4todayvlog !

Here are my three most recent videos:

FET Cycle Underway

Usually when I start a new cycle I'm a mix of emotions. And don't get me wrong, this time is no exception, but the emotions themselves are a bit different this time around. Instead of fear and anxiety mixed with hopefulness and excitement, I'm mostly just excited and impatient. I just wanna get the cycle over with and have our results one way or the other so we can move on to the next step. Don't get me wrong, I'm also hopeful, but a lot of the fears I've had in the past are gone and I feel strangely at peace.

Yesterday was November 22nd... our baseline blood work appointment. 11/22! If you don't know us you'd have no idea just how significant that felt to us. Quick rundown... tons of birthdays in our families on those dates (ie. brother on 22nd, mom on 11th, Eric's sister on the 22nd etc etc.). We got engaged on the 11th, married on the 22nd. It's just ongoing in our lives. So the fact that we started this cycle on that date... well set me up to be so hopeful. I believe in signs, call me a kook but I do.

In complex trains of thought signs are indispensable.

- George Henry Lewes

Speaking of signs... I took it as a sign that I wasn't meant to have intralipids this time around given how much of a nightmare it was trying to get it approved. I literally wanted to pull my hair out (although it needs little help these days... seems to be falling out on its own with these meds. Eek. True story. But anyways, I tried and tried and tried but because we were out of state, and because this isn't a common thing it was just road block after road block. I was supposed to have my appointment on the 22nd and started trying to get it organized weeks in advance and just wasn't happening. Then I saw Dr. Braverman (a reproductive immunologist) on a forum talking about how he is probably going to be moving away from using them as treatment, so I took that as a sign that it just wasn't meant to be. It didn't help us last round so I'm sure it won't be the be all end all this round either.

So anyways, I went for blood work yesterday and that was all fine. Dealing with making sure the results are sent to my clinic on the other hand, a bloody nightmare. So not cool. So I spent hours on the computer going back and forth between clinics; "did you fax it?", "they're faxing it now", "did you receive it?", "they didn't receive it, did you fax it?", "they're faxing it again..." Seriously. It was ridiculous. Eventually they got them (right around 5pm which is absurd), and gave me the green light to start meds today, which is the 23rd.

This morning I took my first injection of Lovenox (I have generic enoxaparin, same thing), and that stung like no other. Small price to pay though... I can deal. I also started prednisone, vaginal viagra, and femara (letrozole), as well as continued on with my Lupron. Tonight Eric has to give me my delestrogen shot intramuscularly.

I'm praying for a Christmas miracle. Please let this be it for us. 

Financial Coordination Call

So we had the financial coordination call with the clinic and all is good to rock and roll. We have fantastic coverage under the new insurance and feel super duper grateful and blessed. It's a huge relief as you can expect since we've already paid so much up to this point. The well eventually starts to run dry...

We have a call with the nurse on Friday to discuss the calendar and meds so hopefully the costs associated with the cycle medication aren't astronomically high... we're anticipating a little bit at least out of pocket since we have quite an extensive cycle planned and much of it is out of the realm of a typical transfer so who knows what they'll be willing to pay for. That remains to be seen.

We've booked our flights and looks like my mother might be able to come watch our dog while we're away which is a huge stress off if it works out. He suffers from pretty bad separation anxiety so it's nice for him to be properly taken care of while we're gone. We board him when we're gone for shorter periods but we're gone for about 2 weeks and that's just not fair to him at all. Cycling out of town makes things a little complicated but oh well.. that's where my embryos are!!! haha... not too shabby anyway to have to go to NYC, twist my rubber arm ;)

Speaking of transfer, found out my RE really wants me to be sedated again... says the transfer is too difficult to do without it so that's a bit cray cray. Makes me feel hopeful though that if the reason for our prior failures has been difficult transfer, that now that he's done it once, it may go more smoothly... plus the addition of immune protocol... please oh please let it work!!!

ps. if you haven't already checked out my YouTube Channel, you can follow along with my journey there! :)