FET Cycle Underway

Usually when I start a new cycle I'm a mix of emotions. And don't get me wrong, this time is no exception, but the emotions themselves are a bit different this time around. Instead of fear and anxiety mixed with hopefulness and excitement, I'm mostly just excited and impatient. I just wanna get the cycle over with and have our results one way or the other so we can move on to the next step. Don't get me wrong, I'm also hopeful, but a lot of the fears I've had in the past are gone and I feel strangely at peace.

Yesterday was November 22nd... our baseline blood work appointment. 11/22! If you don't know us you'd have no idea just how significant that felt to us. Quick rundown... tons of birthdays in our families on those dates (ie. brother on 22nd, mom on 11th, Eric's sister on the 22nd etc etc.). We got engaged on the 11th, married on the 22nd. It's just ongoing in our lives. So the fact that we started this cycle on that date... well set me up to be so hopeful. I believe in signs, call me a kook but I do.

In complex trains of thought signs are indispensable.

- George Henry Lewes

Speaking of signs... I took it as a sign that I wasn't meant to have intralipids this time around given how much of a nightmare it was trying to get it approved. I literally wanted to pull my hair out (although it needs little help these days... seems to be falling out on its own with these meds. Eek. True story. But anyways, I tried and tried and tried but because we were out of state, and because this isn't a common thing it was just road block after road block. I was supposed to have my appointment on the 22nd and started trying to get it organized weeks in advance and just wasn't happening. Then I saw Dr. Braverman (a reproductive immunologist) on a forum talking about how he is probably going to be moving away from using them as treatment, so I took that as a sign that it just wasn't meant to be. It didn't help us last round so I'm sure it won't be the be all end all this round either.

So anyways, I went for blood work yesterday and that was all fine. Dealing with making sure the results are sent to my clinic on the other hand, a bloody nightmare. So not cool. So I spent hours on the computer going back and forth between clinics; "did you fax it?", "they're faxing it now", "did you receive it?", "they didn't receive it, did you fax it?", "they're faxing it again..." Seriously. It was ridiculous. Eventually they got them (right around 5pm which is absurd), and gave me the green light to start meds today, which is the 23rd.

This morning I took my first injection of Lovenox (I have generic enoxaparin, same thing), and that stung like no other. Small price to pay though... I can deal. I also started prednisone, vaginal viagra, and femara (letrozole), as well as continued on with my Lupron. Tonight Eric has to give me my delestrogen shot intramuscularly.

I'm praying for a Christmas miracle. Please let this be it for us. 

Frustrations

Okay really!?!?!?

So I go in for remote monitoring (US/BW) early this morning to get checked for the all clear for my Lupron Depot Injection which will basically put my body into a menopausal state (aka hormone crazy time, bone loss, aches, and no more reproductive cycle hoping to stall endo). Great. All goes well, I pay the $300 out of pocket (ugh) and then proceed to wait for my clinic to call with the results once they're forwarded.

I wait and wait.... no email/call. So finally at 3pm I email to follow up. I'm an hour behind NY so that's still 4pm and an hour before their end of day.. should be plenty of time...

They respond almost immediately asking where I had blood drawn. I immediately reply with all their info. Hmm... maybe it didn't get sent automatically.... good thing I followed up. 10 minutes later I get an email with my results saying I'm cleared to inject.

Okay... so I email back right away.... Does this mean that I inject today? Respond immediately simply
"yes!"

Alright so I've got my answer that I'm clear and approved to inject, and then instructions to do so today... but where?? I open the container and it says intramuscular... should I do it in the arm? the thigh? the butt? It says to be determined by doctor. So I email again... we're talking immediately (it's now 3:25 my time). No response.

I wait 30 min. 4pm I email again to follow up... they're going to be leaving for the day and I don't know how or where to inject this frickin thing!!!!!!

...no answer...

Finally at 530 my time I receive an answer. Do it the same as your hcg trigger intramuscularly.

So fine... technically this is answering my question. Sort of. But this is a stressful thing giving injections, making sure it's on the right day, doing in the right spot etc. Had they taken an extra moment when giving me the go ahead to do the injection, it would have been nice to either receive a phone call to let me know to go ahead, if there was a specific time, where to inject etc, and provide an opportunity for questions. But they're busy, I get it. So maybe don't respond just YES. Maybe take an extra few seconds and type out a response that includes instructions and maybe even if the mood strikes a dash of encouragement. It could be a simple copy and paste response as follows:

"We have reviewed your blood work and ultrasound from earlier today and you have been cleared to go ahead with your Lupron Depot Injection. This is to be done anytime from now to end of day. This is an intramuscular injection and should be done in the arm muscle. This is similar to that of the HCG trigger injection. Should you wish to refer to the video, you can do so here. If you have any questions or concerns just let us know, we are here until 5pm EST."

Anyways... maybe I'm overreacting, it's possible... I am PMSing after all, but I mean come on! We infertiles have enough stress going to appointments, billing, insurance, simply BEING INFERTILE, that we don't need the stress of lack of communication from doctors who just expect us to know things, thrown on top of it all.


UGh. Rant over.

Appointment Tomorrow

Wow... so it's happening... things are getting underway again and I'm feeling a bucket of emotions. Excitement to be starting another cycle. Impatience that this cycle will take so long. Apprehension at the drug I'll be taking (Lupron). Anticipation of what to expect with the other drugs along the way. Butterflies at the possibility that this cycle could work. Fear that it won't. It's like a smorgasbord of emotions, most of which aren't pleasant. One of which.... hope... drives it.

So tomorrow I go in for remote monitoring at a clinic here in Texas. They just need to make sure I don't have any cysts and that my bloodwork (hormone levels) looks good before proceeding with Lupron injection. Costs $300 out of pocket for one measly appointment. Boo hiss.

Then once my doc has a look at my results I'll (or Homme InFertile will) administer the injection. And then we wait...

So if all goes well, looks like I'd be starting the meds for this cycle November 30th with transfer slated for December 15th. Fingers crossed all goes according to plan. Who knows how my body will respond. Eek. We just need to decide if I'll do monitoring locally here in Texas, or if I'll go to New York for a few weeks.