Friday, 16 September 2016


So I saw a post on Facebook the other day... from the account "Simple Reminders" and it was a story about a pregnant woman wearing a t-shirt with a rainbow over her belly. The story illuminated the fact that this term has become widely more understood, and therefore certain strangers knew instantly that this woman was indeed carrying a "Rainbow Baby". Beautiful of course, and great that awareness of miscarriages and pregnancy after miscarriage is becoming more widely understood and all, but it left me feeling a little empty.

Why? Because, well, like many others, I simply have never been pregnant... at all. And should I fall pregnant, there is no "term" for that baby I would be carrying. It wouldn't be a rainbow baby, no, because I've never experienced a miscarriage. But I HAVE experienced 5 years of infertility, failed treatments and months upon months of disappointment, heartache and crushing of dreams. So why when I get pregnant do I fall under "Pregnant after Infertility"? Not really glamorous, and honestly... those "rainbow babies" also fall into that category too. Maybe "Miracle Baby"? I've heard this term thrown around, but truth be told many other things also fall into this category... premies, babies born with some kind of illness or disease, babies born to women after going through menopause.

I guess part of the question I ask myself, is why do I feel I need to be defined by a term? Why is this important to me. I like to self reflect when I'm feeling angry or upset and really delve into the deeper rooted issue at play. In this case, I think why I feel so frustrated I'm not given a term is that I don't feel validated for the pain I'm enduring. 

Women who go through a miscarriage are warriors. They deserve all the recognition and celebration in the world for their little Rainbow Babies. I don't EVER want to take away from that. But at the same time, I want that recognition and celebration too one day... and it just doesn't seem to be a thing. And I find that disheartening.

So I'm brainstorming a moment here... what kind of term could we coin for such a thing? For women who have repeated implantation failure (in this case we'll specify that to include at least 3 failed transfers).

One idea I have is based on the quote "It's always darkest before the dawn."

Dawn Baby
Sunrise Baby

Next idea is "Risen from the Ashes" because we women of repeated failure feel like we die inside each and every time.

Phoenix Baby

Based on the calm after the storm

Storm Baby

Final idea is based on the fact Hope is eternal, and that we never lost hope, never gave in to failure.

Hope Baby

I'd love to hear any and all ideas anyone has.... or if there already is a term out there, I'd really REALLY love to know about it ;)

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