Saturday, 17 September 2016

Waiting on CD1

So here we go again... sorta... in a new kind of way I guess. This next cycle I will be taking my first ever Lupron Depot shot. It is an injection that puts your body into a state of menopause basically and is thought to calm the uterine lining and any inflammation that may be present. Sounds promising but of course who knows if it's my winning ticket or not.

Unfortunately we have to wait and try and see when CD1 comes... see it's all about timing because the shot is a 3 month injection and then we set up for a Frozen Embryo Transfer and this all seems to align very close to Christmas... and of course there are clinic closures etc.

So we wait and see. If not this month, possibly next or at worst the one after that. I'm not tied to any of these timelines, I no longer feel this sense of urgency. I'm in no rush to go through all of the ups and downs again, but I AM ready.

I've been questioning a lot lately whether or not I should be getting a lap first (for endo). What I came to the decision of, was that surgery is risky, and if Lupron could work, why not try it first. But then you ask yourself, "but what if a lap is the answer and I'm unneccessarily wasting good embryos?"... but truth be told if I did lap, I might be asking the same thing of if I did Lupron. So let's just say that it's a coin toss. I have to be okay with the idea that BOTH may be part of my future. And that one vs. the other isn't going to make a difference. I have to just trust my gut and go with it.

I met with a beautiful (inside and out) woman off one of my support forums (Hi if you're reading this!) who encouraged me to follow my gut. She like so many others I've chatted with have been around the block just as long or longer than myself. Maybe not always in years passed, but in tests, and procedures and cycles etc. I just wish we could all have our happily ever afters. But it was nice to meet someone face to face and feel like I was understood. When my food came and it had cheese on it she immediately knew that I needed to send it back. See dairy for immune or endo girls is a no no. She didn't even need to know that I was also allergic to know that I shouldn't be having it. That's a refreshing experience, as small as it might seem.

Anyways... as I write this I am filled with hope, fear, anxiety, anxiousness and excitement over the prospect of getting back on the horse so to speak. The countdown is on... well as soon as CD1 appears I guess.

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