Feelin' Hot Hot Hot

So it's still hot hot here in Texas... and not just because of the weather. ;) I've been having some serious hot flashes these last few days in particular. I'll literally be lying in bed with a hoodie since I have AC up so high, then the next moment I'm all but flinging my hoodie off myself, kicking off all the covers and fanning myself to cool down. Menopause hot flashes aint no joke let me tell you.

I thought I was having some, but these flashes recently have shown me just what a hot flash truly is. Good times. Wouldn't be so much an issue if I were still up in Canada where in my prior home of Alberta it has already snowed, but I'm in hot and humid Texas now. I don't exactly need help staying warm when it's in the 90s.

Insomnia seems to be improving slightly. It could be because I was so incredibly busy these last few days that I genuinely was exhausted falling into bed. We had friends in town and had them over for dinner and some good old fashion card game fun... while watching the Jays vs. Indians game. Then we went to the Renaissance Festival the next day in the blistering heat and walked around all day. We could barely stay up until 8pm haha. I feel like I've recovered now but hoping I beat insomnia for good. Cross your fingers for me ;)

I also have had breakthrough bleeding for the last week. Hoping it goes away eventually which other ladies in my support groups have assured me.... well other than that one woman who has had breakthrough bleeding every single day of the last few months. She didn't give me much hope haha, but trying to ignore her and focus on all the other women who only had it the first month. God I hope I'm in their group, not the former. All I can say is I'm super stoked I invested in large THINX panty collection. Phew, they sure are coming in handy.

Otherwise not much to report on. I've been giving myself reiki treatments, in particular around the reproductive organs. It's funny because if you've ever trained in reiki you know you can actually sense the energy and heat (or lack there of) and my ovaries etc. are fully shut down. Obviously this is what is supposed to happen on Lupron Depot, but still a bit unsettling. 

Lupron Side Effects

Oh good golly miss molly... Lupron = no fun at all. So yesterday I was getting the full flood of the emotional side effects and then last night and today I'm having the physical ones starting up.

Lupron Depot Symptom 1 - STOMACH ACHE
So my stomach is a gurgling mess. TMI alert but generally my "system" doesn't flow too regular... now its the opposite problem. I feel constantly mildly nauseous.

Lupron Depot Sympton 2 - INSOMNIA
So was super tired... yet I could NOT for the life of me, fall asleep last night. Nor could I stay asleep. I was a tossing turning mess. Couldn't sleep in either. So the cycle continues with me being very tired today.

Lupron Depot Symptom 3 - NASAL CONGESTION
Okay, so I have allergies and have recently seen a massive shift in the volume of my nasal congestion. I have basically had none (between allergy shots, and an air purifier). Yet as of yesterday, more so today, I have a serious stuffy nose going on. I did a quick search and it doesn't seem to be correlated, but I'm including since everyone is different and I believe it has had this affect on me. I'll update if it turns out I have a cold or something else random I can blame it on.

Lupron Depot Symptom 4 - HOT FLASHES
So far I don't mind this so much. I hate being cold... so I'm not too bothered. Ask me in a few weeks.

Lupron Depot Symptom 5 - CLAMMY SKIN
So my hands are now permanently clammy. They have a nice sheen to them constantly. Hubby won't so much want to hold my hand anymore. Maybe I should invest in a nice pair of pretty gloves?

So far that's all I'm experiencing that I can tell.... the symptom list from web md looks as follows so who knows what the future has in store for me... I'm particularly looking forward to facial hair. Ya that sounds fun... NOT.

• hot flashes (flushing)
• increased sweating
• night sweats
• chills
• clammy skin
• tiredness
• swelling of the ankles/feet
• increased urination at night
• mental/mood changes (e.g., depression, mood swings)
• dizziness
• injection site reactions (burning, redness, stinging, pain, bruising, swelling,abscess)
• acne
• increased growth of facial hair
• breakthrough bleeding in a female child during the first 2 months of Lupron Depot treatment
• weakness
• nausea
• diarrhea
• constipation
• stomach pain
• skin redness/itching/scaling
• joint or muscle pain
• vaginal itching or discharge
• breast swelling or tenderness
• testicle pain
• impotence
• loss of interest in sex
• sleep problems (insomnia)
• rash (including a painful rash with fever)
• memory problems
• blisters/sores
• facial swelling
• vaginitis
• weight gain
• headache

Day 24 - 5dp5dt

Finally up to the amount of days post transfer equal to amount of days pre transfer... the equivalent of 10 dpo. In the past I would have already tested by now and believe me, I've certainly been tempted. I think we might have one frer hiding in our closet somewhere, but I would rather make use of it when it is more likely to give an accurate result. Although many people get positives this early, many also don't, and I really don't need to get more discouraged than I already am. It's taking everything in me to stay positive...

Overnight I started off with some early night sweats. I woke up drenched. I immediately got scared and sad. I get night sweats usually the night before AF shows. Usually I wake up to her gracing me with her presence in full force (she hasn't...yet at least). Was I too hot? Too cold? I couldn't tell, but accompanied by the intense cramping I had the night before I was pretty certain it was not good news. Somehow I managed to push this out of my thoughts enough to fall back asleep after half-hazardly wiping the sweat off my chest.

Then, middle of the night I woke up. I felt wide awake yet it was still basically pitch dark out, I finally caved and checked my phone, the bright light of the screen making me squint. 4am! Ugh. I tossed and turned hoping that maybe I just had a bad dream I wasn't remembering that woke me up and I would fall right back asleep, but I was awake and alert...insomnia! I wondered if maybe I woke up to go pee (I had been doing that the last few mornings, though that was more like 630am, not 4!!!), but then all that thinking of peeing finally made me have to get up to pee. Lame. Once I get up and do that I have a really hard time falling back asleep. I came back in and Homme InFertile very groggily asked me if everything was alright. I told him what was going on and he got grumpy, as if his empathy was only worthy if I had a reason for disturbing him in the night, and apparently my insomnia and pee-needs were not fitting the bill.

I watched some "Friends" on the laptop which always lulls me to sleep. I've seen all 10 seasons a gazillion times over so know it so well it's like a lullaby. That eventually worked, but I continued to toss and turn throughout the early morning due to lower back pain. When I finally woke up to our "alarm clock", aka the jackhammer that starts up every morning at 730am, my back pain was even worse and I feel absolutely exhausted from all the lack of sleep last night.

Today we're planning to go to a mets game. Having Homme InFertile home and around during this wait has been incredible! I'm not left to stew on my own while I can't work (living in the states as a dependent without visa privileges sucks). I just hope my back feels better before then, as sitting in those hard seats for a full 9 innings isn't going to be the most pleasant for me in this state. But I love baseball, and it would be such a great distraction for me today... so I'll try and tough it out, see how it goes at least.

Anyways. I guess that's all for now. Still many a days before I'll know if all these symptoms are period or baby related. Could go either way.... might as well be a coin toss.