We Be Stimmin'

Hey all... I'm running a limited time Shirt Campaign. I personally LOVE funny printed t-shirts. For anyone going through a fresh IVF cycle, or medicated cycle (or egg banking cycle or what have you), these shirts a fun way to celebrate the crazy that is stimming!!!

The campaign is running for a limited time. Basically if at least 5 people buy, then the shirts will be printed and shipped. It runs until Oct 31st and will be shipped within a week or two of that date, so this is ideal for someone cycling mid November or later!

Have a peak!

https://www.bonfire.com/we-be-stimmin/

Share with your TTC sisters!!!!

Day 12 (10 of stimms)

Had final BW/US checkup today and all eggies seemed to have grown. Huzzah! I'm ready to trigger tonight. Really nervous to allow Homme InFertile to do it for me but he's up for the task so we're going to give it a go. My last trigger was during my very first IVF round and I believe it was in the stomach and I gave it to myself... This will certainly be a trust building exercise for us.

Today the doc found 22 follicles, though it really seemed like at least 2 of them were re-counts. Fingers crossed those were our genuine numbers. I'm hyper-stimulating unfortunately, so been advised to have lots of fluids and take it very easy. I feel like my ovaries are just going to burst out of my pelvis. No jokes... not fun.

Went to acupuncture which I felt super sensitive to today for whatever reason. I guess lots of hormones in my body and its already all sensitive... anyway, wasn't the most pleasurable going in. Time flew by though and now I'm at home resting up.

Feeling a little dizzy, not sure if its from the cipro or what. Will have to have a nap and set an alarm for my trigger as I'm very VERY sleepy.

So short but sweet post today as I'm not feeling super chatty. Egg retrieval scheduled for Sunday.

Day 10 (8 stimms)

DAY 10 - day 8 stimms
Ganirelix done. Check.
Ultrasound done. - - -> My 21 follicles lowered to 17 (I guess some of the 5mms just dissipated). Disappointing, but still solid. Hoping all 17 hold strong.
BW done. - - -> Good to continue with same dosages, and am going back in Friday for another check up. I'll probably be ready to trigger Friday night it looks like. That'll make retrieval Sunday, Transfer Wednesday or Friday of next week.

I had another different doc today. I guess it truly does take a village. I liked her a lot better. Might try requesting her for my Friday appointment and retrieval. She just had a much warmer demeanor in my humble opinion.

Was so fun having my friend in town to distract me, but now she's left just as I was getting more uncomfortable and closer to the finish line. I am a bit relieved to have some down time. I feel like I'm just going to hermit it up for the next little while through our trigger, retrieval, and transfer.

We found out we might have to go back up to Canada while our new USA visas are processed, which is a bit of a pain in the butt. Maybe we'll do it during the 2ww. That'll make for a good distraction I figure. Problem is, if they want us going sooner rather than later the timing is tricky and may be a quick turn around situation. That's fine too, and maybe better if it means I can fly instead of having to drive. No chance I'd risk flying in the 2ww. No sir.

I go in for my intralipids tomorrow. Really nervous about that. No clue what to expect, and who in their right minds likes IVs? No one. I'm hoping Homme InFertile can join me and we can cuddle up and watch a movie. We haven't really had any alone/chill time since my friend was in town. I wanted to be respectful to her as she's single and I know it can be hard being around super lovey dovey couples (which we are, but just not in public). So soaking up some cuddles tonight. 

Days 7-8 (days 5-6 stimms)

Wow have things progressed. Getting real ya'll...

DAY 7 - day 5 stimms a.m. & p.m.
So yesterday I continued with my a.m. ganirelix and p.m. gonal-f and menopur shots. My stomach has little prick marks along with mini bruises where I clearly did a less than stellar job injecting myself. Oh well. I'll be a pin cushion if it means I have a baby!!!

Yesterday was Easter, so we started our morning off with Easter Brunch at Lafayette in New York. Delicious little brunch with some friends and then we headed over to the bonnet festival which is a street filled with crazy New Yorkers in crazy hats. So random, but quite a spectacle. We then tried to get lottery tix to a broadway show, but after no such luck, walked across the Brooklyn Bridge instead. So needless to say, it was a busy day and I was just beyond pooped. We had a chill night and went to bed reasonably early.

DAY 8 - day 6 stimms a.m. & p.m.
Maybe it was me pushing myself to hard, maybe it was the meds, maybe my IBS, or maybe even something I ate, but I tossed and turned with a stomach ache all night, and woke up with diarrhea around 6am. Annoying since I had been incredibly constipated for days. I guess the relief was welcomed, but the stomach cramping not so much. Sorry for the TMI but I don't believe in such a thing on this journey ;)

So my day started off a bit rough since I wasn't feeling great but we had to go to my check up appointment at the RE. I was super duper nervous, having been a poor responder in the past. I trusted my doc lowering my meds, but at the same time was just really hoping it worked out well. My friend came in to the room with me for sheer curiosity more than anything. Was quite the learning experience for her.

Well the doc covering for Dr. T was fine and dandy, but not overly personable. I like someone I can joke with and they all take it a bit too seriously for my taste. Fair enough, as they need to be sensitive to all infertile types. I support that... but still, when I crack a joke, at least crack a smile ;)

Anyways, had 21 follicles. Yes!!! 21!!! I was thrilled!!! Our first IVF was only 11 so we almost doubled our amount and I couldn't be happier. Many of them are still quite small, so I'm not sure how many will mature to size, but I still feel confident we'll get a good yield and may be able to go for a day 5 transfer. Fingers crossed.

I felt completely drained today and tried to be a trooper but had to take a mid-day nap to recuperate. My ovaries are just so sore. I feel like I need to invent shock absorbing shoes for women going through IVF. I swear with each step I could feel them slosh around in my ovaries. Ouch. I'm okay with it if it means I have 21 great eggies in there. Feeling positive vibes today. :) :) :)

Days 3-6 (1-4 of stimms)

DAY 3 - day 1 stimms (p.m. only)
So I've clearly not been keeping up my blogging duties, but I've definitely been busy busy with all the injections and pill taking.

So first night of stimms I was so so nervous. Like, had no clue I would feel that way given I had done it before. I wasn't nervous to actually give myself the needles so much as just mess it up somehow. My hubby took some video of me doing it all which I might try and cut down and post below at some point if I get a chance, but forgive me if it never happens as I'm a little distractible at the moment and the full video is like 20 minutes long since I was such a nervous wreck.... No one wants to watch 20 minutes of me pouting haha.

:) possible video placeholder :)

I got it all done in the end and went to bed feeling pretty proud of myself. Plus... we had officially begun our cycle of IVF stimms and I was looking forward to moving forward. Yay.

DAY4 - day 2 stimms (p.m. only)

I woke up day 4 (day 2 of stimms) feeling pretty a.o.k. I didn't sleep great, a bit of tossing and turning as the meds started coursing through the ole body. I went about my day quite normally. Then Homme InFertile got the call. HE GOT A JOB!!! So if you've been following my blog you might know that we are Canadians who moved down to New York for his job. Well, oil and gas markets essentially crashed and the company layed off his whole team (and many others). Since he was sponsored to work, and that job no longer existed, we were in fear of being deported. All this as we had started IVF. Ridiculous amount of stress. All of that was lifted with one phone call. Phew. That being said, we're Houston, TX bound next. His whole team got picked up so we'll be moving with people we know which is nice... and best of all is that we get another 6 months in New York while they ramp up coverage. That means I get time to finish IVF (and a frozen if needed) before leaving, as well as take time to say goodbye to this great city and do all the things off my NY bucket list before we go! So great! 

So we were off to the boss' to celebrate... just one hitch. I had to do my shots. Luckily everyone knows our situation so I just brought them along for the champagne toast and shot myself up in their living room. Infertility accommodates no one ;) 

I feel it necessary to include a little commentary here on that whole situation though in case you find yourself in a similar circumstance. Now know, although my husband works with these guys, 1 of them knows me better than the other, and neither of them are overly familiar with me yet, so comfort levels aren't incredibly high. One guys wife, although very sweet, I also don't know all that well... so this wasn't exactly a group of close friends if you get what I'm saying...

So what I found interesting was their curiosity and wanting to look/stare, but their blatant efforts to not! I tried to crack a few jokes to make everyone more comfortable, and they gave me a few kind chuckles to break the awkwardness, but you could definitely sense they didn't know how to act. Totally fair. Now I could have gone off to the bathroom and done it in privacy sure. But I'm pretty stubborn and believe I shouldn't have to hide my life. I don't do it in the bathroom at home. I do it in the comfort of my living room, perched on the couch (or in my bed for the morning shot this morning that I'm writing). Not only that, but I WANT them to see what it's all about. I WANT people to understand what an infertile or person going through IVF goes through, because for the most part, it happens behind closed doors, and under hushed voices. Me? Infertile here loud and proud. I refuse to let someones discomfort with it be the reason I don't educate and break down the stigmas. So there you have it. Everyone in that room now knows exactly what IVF injections look like, and what the woman has to go through with organizing, timing, mixing (lupron/menopur I'm looking at you!) and actually self-injecting. 

DAY5 - day 3 stimms (p.m. only) 

Today my friend arrived from out of town. I went for acupuncture beforehand, and the hubs and I went for a game of pool with one of his other unemployed but soon to be re-employed colleagues. I was still feeling pretty good, although a little more bloated and uncomfortable again today. Acupuncture seemed to have helped a bit there... I listened to circle and blooms IVF program while I had it done. Ahhhhh. 

When my friend got in we were able to go grab a quick bite before having to head home for my nightly shot. Once again, I know she felt discomfort. This is a friend I know very very well, and have been friends with for years, but we haven't lived in the same city since we were 18 (we're 31) and although we know each other very well, the comfort level may not be the same as it would be if we were around each other more often. Once she realized we could joke through it, and it didn't have to be a big serious thing, she loosened up, but it was interesting for me to see the same sort of behaviours and reactiosn as the previous night with Homme InFertile's work colleagues, as I did with a close friend. Huh. 

DAY6 - day 4 stimms (a.m. & p.m.)

Woke up this a.m. knowing I had to add Ganirelix to my regimen. Wasn't so worried about it. No biggie. No mixing... no adding/changing needle heads. It's prepared for me and ready to rock and roll. WELL...... little did I recall this is the little guy that stings like a ... well stings bad lets just put it that way! I forgot the little trick that my last clinic/nurse taught me of pre and post icing. I just went in without a care in the world. Ouch!!! My stomach was quite red and a large circumference stung. I grabbed ice and remembered it was my friend, making a mental note for all mornings to come.

We spent the day out and about. Homme InFertile had to go meet with new boss for lunch, and a few other things came up for him, so it was just my friend and I out playing tourist. I got to do some things in NY I had really wanted to do for some time (aka boating on the lake in Central Park, and taking the boat cruise around the Statue of Liberty). We came home, had some down time, played a board game and I took my evening shots before heading out again. 

Well... evening shots have taken a turn. A dark, dark turn. Eep. I dunno if it's because of the added morning shot or what, but my evening shots SUCKED. Not only was my stomach all of a sudden way more sensitive, but about 10 minutes after taking them I looked 4 months pregnant. I'm a pretty skinny minny, so I understand this doesn't look like much, but I'm generally completely flat. The bloating was sooooo painful. Felt like my insides might pop like a balloon if I sticked myself with another needle. 

But the show must go on so we went out for dinner where I stuffed myself further and felt even more bloated, and then showed my friend Time Square before heading home and me collapsing in bed in pain. Hosting during IVF apparently is a no go ;) I should have known, but at the same time, the distraction is kind of nice. 

Day 3

Nerves anyone?

I woke up with a lot of anxiety today. First day of being monitored and I certainly wasn't looking forward to being reunited with the ole giant jelly-lubed ultrasound wand. Especially not while still on my period. Doesn't get much more awkward than that... ugh.

Morning Pick Me Up

At least its a nice waiting room....

When I arrived into my little wee exam room and undressed, I noticed a printed sign on the wall. My doc is going to be away from March 24-April 4. Huwwwhhhhaaaaaat!!?!?!?? We literally were all geared up to go last month, but postponed just because Homme InFertile lost his job and it was stress mania. Part of me regretted that the instant I saw the sign, but on the flip-side, I know that the stress and chaos was just too much at that time.

When he came in, I asked who'd be covering while starting to tear up. I think I made him feel pretty bad, but I couldn't help it. I'm friggin stressed. After 5 years of infertility, I'm really ready for a successful cycle, and being passed around from doc to doc at my last clinic in Canada, made me question my level of care and attention to detail. So to be dealing with passed on information once again, I'm just a bit jaded...

Anyways, lining looked good (6mm I think), and he found 8-10 follicles on each side, so decided I was ready to start. Wait... what? I had it so fixed in my brain that I'd likely not be starting until tomorrow. I was looking forward to the remainder of the day with no worries or cares, just likely another appointment to go to tomorrow. Well, clearly I was incorrect.

Then I had my blood drawn and she punctured me pretty bad. I have a small bruise, which I'm hoping will heal before I need more bloodwork Monday.

Feels worse than it looks :(

Afterwards, Homme InFertile took me for lunch. With all my dietary restrictions it can be hard to eat out, but Peacefood Cafe is one of my go-tos. Not only is it Vegan AND full of Gluten Free foods... its also super duper tasty. Can't get much better than that! I had a delicious "Quiche" made with sweet potato, cashew cheese, tofu etc., and the hubs had a "chicken" potato salad.

After lunch we still had some time, so we walked down towards Loft a fav store of mine where I picked up some new sunglasses and a comfy cute t-shirt. The cherry blossoms were kind enough to come out to bloom to help with the cheering up too! Though retail therapy works wonders on its own generally haha ... soooo bad. 

So they emailed me my updated calendar and I officially start stimms tonight. I get a lump in my throat just typing that. I add in the morning injection starting Saturday, and as mentioned go back for monitoring/check up on Monday to see how I'm progressing.

I've been watching all my injection videos (the clinic has really great clear instructionals) and feeling about as prepared as I can be for getting going. I'll point a video of it tonight. If you're intererested in the videos check them out at this link!