Tuesday, 12 April 2016

Day 23 - 4dp5dt

Another day full of cramping. Wow.... really REALLY feels like I'm building up for AF up in here. And I'm none-too-pleased about it all, for obvious reasons.

I'm really trying to keep myself as calm and level-headed as possible but it's just so dang hard. I am freaking the frack out. I am so nervous and scared that this cycle is going to be another failure, and yet just hoping and praying so hard that the opposite is true.

It's been a long road to get here, and starting this cycle I've been so hopeful that intralipids were the ticket to success. Now I'm just not so sure. I'm questioning everything. Every decision, every meal, every activity. I'm driving myself bonkers and that's certainly not helping.

I want nothing more than to have faith that it'll all work out, but sometimes it's just hard. I keep my trusty stone with me always, and I rub it to calm myself... that helps a little.

If we wanna play the symptom spotting game for a minute here's what's been going on up until now:


acid reflux (almost threw up when burped)

increased appetite
very emotional (crying)
sore throat
frequent urination (but also drinking lots of water to stay hydrated)
back pain, unbearable then slowly went away

cramps - started in a.m. then went away, came back worse later in day towards evening (bad overnight)
very emotional (crying a lot again - super sensitive)

overnight - crazy frickin dreams. And very vivid - as if I was really there. Nothing baby related :(

low energy (no nap but busy day... feeling almost ready for bed though and its only 630pm)
medium to bad cramps all day
average to low appetite (common for me with bad cramps)
mild nausea (common for me with bad cramps)
very emotional (crying continues)

... we'll see what tomorrow brings.

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